“Ro mat beta” –the mother consoled her daughter, Neha, while moving her fingers across her face, trying to wipe the non-stop stream of tears.
“I want to die Mumma” – Neha cried her words out
Her mother started crying too.
Delhi University's fifth – and possibly final – cut off list is out. Neha couldn't make the cut. Many of you have entered your dream colleges. Many of you had to compromise because of low marks, but you made into DU. My congratulations to you both.
And there are some of you, who couldn’t succeed in the fifth cut off. How are you feeling?
Let me tell you how Neha is feeling. She is gripped by a feeling of a hopeless abyss. Delhi University was an Everest for her, one she was sure that she could climb. But lower-than-cut-off marks halted her progress. Now depression has her, and she is contemplating something terrible.
Friends, by now, you and I have heard all there is to hear about depression. Of how it can consume everything including your habits, your focus and in extreme cases, your will to move forward. It is a dark place – a tunnel with no light on either side. It feels like there is no way out. As a result, you resign within yourself, hopeless. In India, this feeling of utter hopelessness claims one student’s life every hour.
It is time we did something about it!
It is time we did something about it!
Let us deal with this depression
Depression is just so hard to talk about. At times, you would feel the constant clawing of inner pain, but still, are unable to express it. Have courage, it is the greatest strength to have during depression. It is also one of the most difficult things to have. Especially, when you feel that feeling anything positive, let alone feeling anything is impossible. But it is courage that pushes you forward to express yourself. And when you do, someone will be there to sincerely listen to you.
But how to muster the courage to talk about depression:
- Be yourself: Being yourself while facing disappointments is difficult, but its better than hiding inside your own self. While it's a comfortable place, it can draw you further into the abyss. It is time to come out of your shell. Time to show your distaste about the situation to the world. Show how you feel. By being yourself you communicate what you are feeling to the one sincerely willing to listen.
- Find an escape: You can't hide from your despair, but you can distract yourself to find momentarily levity. Do something you like, something good that you can find an escape in. There must be something that your true self likes. it does not matter if they are big or small. Just give it a shot. You will start to feel something -- making it easier to strengthen your will.
- You don’t have to build courage alone: Think of someone who cares for you. They can be your boyfriend, girlfriend, brother, sister and even parents. Have them around you. Building courage does not have to be a one-person job. In fact, it never is. With someone around, you will find it comfortable to be yourself, and they can be around to pull you out of your escape.
Once courage builds, you’ll find yourself in a place where you can talk about your depression.
You will soon Realize - DU doesn’t Matter
When you start talking about it, then the true therapy will then begin. It will make you realize.:- DU isn’t the be-all and end-all of all higher education: DU doesn’t matter. Don’t let anyone tell you any different. I know… I know, it was part of your dream that you couldn’t realize. Instead, realize this, there are many universities just as much fun and fruitful as Delhi University. They also have value and can set you on a good path.
- Your future can’t be told by your marks today: Personally, I don’t believe that there is any difference between a student who got 91% and the one who scored 95%. I am not a college, so I don’t discriminate between the two. And you know what, both of us don’t matter. Your future is defined by your acts, not your marks.
- Your skills aren’t going anywhere: Depression of not getting into DU stems from one reason – the feeling of “itna kuchh kiya, kya fayeda”. You believe that your efforts were in vain. But, you know what? They weren't. You passed your school! You still have the skills that made you cool. They aren’t going anywhere. The world is much bigger than DU, where you can apply these skills
- You can live above the competition: Have you checked the DU Cut-offs recently? Students from all over face non-admission due to lacking as low as point 1 percent. Now I know, how does it feel being “almost” realizing your dream, but not succeeding. I myself tried a third attempt at UGC NET, got disqualified by 3 marks. THREE MARKS! But you know what? I am still here -- writing the positive and right. I have learned to live above the competition. I write -- you can do something better – a lot better.
Realizing these four will lift your spirits, even if you feel now that positivity can’t happen to you. The tunnel will finally have a light – showing you where to go.
Conclusion
I hope you know by now that your life and your feelings are more important than your admission in Delhi University. I am not going to lie. It's not going to be easy, or quick fix to suppress that depressed feeling. But, when you finally open up, you will feel better.
